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24 July 2009

HOT! HOT! HOT! Izmir summer is back baby!!

Izmir summer is back and my outsides are melting, my insides are melting, my water intake has gone past the 'Guiness Book of World Records' drinking champions record (although mainly Coke) and my sweat is running like the Niagra Falls down my head body and legs. Hot! You could say that! Just a simple swing to the left or right in my swivel office chair is enough to open the sweat glands. You may think why isn't this person using air conditioning? Because I am a poor man, that's why! I have a (ventilator) a fan and a hand made paper fan too. I do have air conditioning but to leave it on throughout the day would cost almost more than I make in a week or maybe even in a year. I would need a world bank loan to suppliment my non existent pay so that i could keep my extravagant life bumping happily along until the world bank asks me for the money back and makes me even poorer than a third world country.

There are cheaper ways to keep cool in Izmir, find some shade underneath a bush or tree and fall asleep, so that whilst you are asleep you will only think it is cooler but really your insides are still liquidizing from the heat. Another way to try to keep cool is go to any of the following places Kipa, Carrefour, your local Migros or Tansas and any other place with industrial sized air conditioning and stay there and stay cool until the summer is over. Only problem with the smaller stores like Bim is after a few minutes they will kick you out for either not shopping, loitering, or thinking that you are stalking the female Bim shop assistant or even the male shop assistant if you are gay or a straight single female. Another idea is to maybe work in one of these places just for the summer months. Then you don't have to look like a stalker because she will be there all the time for your staring pleasure. Lastly, and my own personal favourite. I saw this on a news report about British soldiers in Afghanistan and how they keep their drinking water cool. The same can be done for people in principle I can only assume. Get an extremely large sock (body sized) and get in the sock, so that it covers your body from head to toe, cover the sock occasionally with water and hang yourself from the side of a humpvee or battle tank and the wind airflow combined with the water will keep you cool. Remember to keep adding extra water to the sock and to be careful not to catch pneaumonia. One problem you may encounter is how to find a humpvee or a battle tank in war free Izmir. Have a look, I am sure you can find one somewhere and if you can find yourself a tank, the human sized sock should be so easy to find. At the time of writing I was not actuallyy sure whether I was joking or not, must be this god damned heat!

Keep cool dudes and if you can't keep cool. Drink lots of water to keep your water intake up. Bol Bol Su!! Go to the beach if you can and don't get ripped off by the extravagant beach prices they're charging, 7-12 TL for a beer, who are they trying to kid, especially when they just give you the 1.80 TL bottle, no glass and not even a mat for your drink. Highway robbery!!! Who sets these prices? Anyhooo! That's another story for another day.

How are you coping with the heat?
Have you any wonderful ways to keep cool, that you can do on a budget?
How do you keep cool?
Are there any tricks that maybe us foreigners don't know that only the locals know about?
How much do you think beer should be on the beach?
Any beach stories, come on it's summer?

Izmir Blogger


Anonymous said...

When I am alone in the house and all the shutters are closed so there are no prying eyes I love to walk around naked. It is the only way to keep cool. If everyone wasn't so uptight about nudity in the world, your god given skin then in hot countries it wouldn't be a problem. Shame really that a lot of hot countries have forgotten their past and we have subscribed to this torture of clothes in 40 degrees heat.

I suppose though if you were allowed to walk around outside butt naked all the time you would have to be careful in many ways. For a start the closeness and kissing custom in Turkey would be a problem for men. I don't think then a man would kiss another man on the cheek especially with his manhood blowing in the wind. I think it would be more of "Hey!" and from a distance at that. I wonder how other people cool off it? My way works for me.

Be naked, be proud and don't sweat like a lamb kofte.